I've never really known someone who has died. I've never been to a true funeral.
Until last week.
It was just numbing all through the process.



But now that we're home and it's over and the snow is falling, I can't help but feel alone and helpless. I can't stop thinking about how she doesn't deserve to be in the ground right now. I can't help but pray that she's up there in God's arms with all the people she deserves to be with. So she's happy, right? That's where she belongs?
But how can I not be selfish? I didn't know everything I needed to know about her. She didn't know everything she needed to know about me. I need her here and now I'll never see her again.

That's the thought I can't stand. Never. We'll go up to the cottage next summer, and she won't be there. I'll graduate, and she won't be there. I'll get a job, and she won't be there. I'll get married, and she won't be there. I'll have kids, and she won't be there.

She won't be there.

And as selfish as it is, I needed her.
I needed her to be immortal.
She'll always be unforgettable.

xoxo
The Other Dorothy